Attachment Styles
Attachment styles are patterns we develop in relationships based on early experiences. They influence how we navigate closeness, conflict, communication, and intimacy. Some individuals may experience heightened anxiety and a need for reassurance, while others may withdraw or become emotionally distant when faced with vulnerability. These patterns are not random, they often emerge most strongly within close relationships.
Attachment theory is a foundational part of my work because it provides a meaningful framework for understanding the underlying dynamics that contribute to distress in relationships. By moving beyond surface-level concerns, this approach allows both individuals and couples to gain insight into their patterns, improve emotional responsiveness, and cultivate more secure, connected, and fulfilling relationships.
Types of attachment styles we heal
- Anxious: seeks closeness, fears disconnection
- Avoidant: values independence, pulls away under pressure
- Secure: comfortable with closeness and communication
Things my clients notice or ways it shows up for them to identify that they need help includes:
- Overanalyzing tone, distance, or communication
- Feeling “too much” or not enough in relationships
- Getting stuck in the same arguments
- Pulling away when things feel emotionally intense
- Wanting closeness but struggling to maintain it
- Cycles of pursuing and withdrawing with partners
At Centre for Sexuality and Couples Therapy, attachment-focused work is a core part of how we understand and treat relationship and intimacy challenges. I use attachment-based approaches (including EFT-informed work) to help clients understand their patterns and create more secure, connected relationships. In individual therapy that looks like; Understanding your attachment style, Working through triggers and emotional responses and Building more secure patterns While for couples it is effective for Understanding the cycle between you and your partner, Reducing conflict + miscommunication and Rebuilding emotional and physical intimacy.
These patterns aren’t flaws, they’re learned ways of protecting yourself in relationships. And they can be understood, shifted, and changed with effective therapeutic intervention.